Death ... and Life

I've been away from my blog longer than usual, as I was out of town for funeral services after my aunt died suddenly earlier this month. She was only 50, and she was murdered. She leaves behind a grieving husband (they were married 24 years) and nine children, ages 6 to 20. I loved my aunt and I am heartbroken for her family and deeply saddened for our extended family, who will dearly miss the love and joy she brought to our family.

It hardly seems real that she is gone. I suppose death, when unexpected, is like that: it happens so quickly with such finality that the mind has trouble catching up with what happened. It's been a couple weeks now since I got the phone call that my Aunt Renee was dead, but my shock has only just begun to lessen, even as raw sadness takes its place.

My Aunt Renee's untimely death has really impressed a few things on me, and I wanted to share two of those thoughts with you, my fellow work at home moms, freelance writers and online entrepreneurs. I hope it doesn't seem callous to talk about things of a practical nature when someone has just died. But the reality is, life keeps moving.

Make a "love drawer" for your family.
Like many moms, my Aunt Renee paid the bills and managed the finances for her family. She took care of collecting rents from their rental properties and making sure mortgages were paid. Basically, she did it all. In my family, I manage our online bill paying, debt reduction plan, and also earn an income that is primarily online. I have a system, but it's all in my head -- nothing is written down. Renee was the same way, and her sudden death leaves her devastated husband with the task of figuring out what bills are due when on top of everything else. Dave Ramsey encourages his listeners to make a "Love Drawer" for the spouse or family members you leave behind. In it should be your will, final instructions, insurance policy information, and everything your spouse needs to carry on should something happen to you. I need to do this, like, yesterday. In addition to all the bill paying, I have a couple PayPal accounts where residual earnings would keep on arriving, and affiliates who would still need to be be paid for their sales if I died .... point is, I need everything spelled out in writing, and I also want to take the time to go over it with my husband.

Be there for your children.
As work at home moms, we're always there for our children, right? I mean, we're here practically 24/7, they wake up to us being there and see us during the day or after school, and we tuck them in at night. But let me share with you ... my Aunt Renee had an amazing ability of truly being present for her children. I want to be like that, too. Her untimely death made me take notice; her lovely life gave me the inspiration. Too many times I'm staring at a computer screen while the kids ask me questions. I am making a huge effort to get my writing done in the wee hours of the morning or after they are in bed, so I can really be there for them during these young years of their lives. My aunt Renee was a work at home mom, too, first as a daycare owner in Alaska and then as a therapist and horsewoman in TN. Still, she put her kids first. I will, too.

My Aunt Renee loved life -- she brought fun wherever she went. She loved my uncle, she loved being a mom, and she loved her farm. She will be missed terribly, even as we remember her with joy in our sorrow.